Lessons 101

Today marks the final day of exam for the second semester of my third year as a Psychology. This semester has been the toughest semester thus far. I guess, that's the way things should be.

"When the going gets tough, the tough gets going."

Challenges of the semester are always meant to test our ability to cope with stress or pressure and bring out the true potential in us. If I were to describe myself in just one word, I would choose 'a rubber band'. Yup. I've been 'a rubber band' this semester.

The theory of elasticity: the property of solid material to deform under the application of an external force and to regain their original shape after the external force have been removed. Likewise, I,'a rubber band' had to be flexible to the 'external forces'-the different challenges and the hardcore stuffs the lecturers or group mates presented to me this semester. But, we all know, that a rubber band tears if it is given too much external forces that it looses its elasticity. And thank God, I have not came to the point that I loose the ability to cope. I would always like to take the challenges as the opportunity to grow in maturity.

I know I would not have gone through this semester without the prayers of God's people. Thankfully, I have great friends who lend their listening ears, gave supportive encouragements and showed that they cared. :) It's always good to know that there will be people who stand close beside me and cheer me on. It all makes a difference. Truly. Forever.

What Makes you Happy?

In life, you have a choice. One, is to go around and have a long face, thinking of every single bad thing that has happened to you recently. Two, is to count every blessings that you have and be contented. I choose 'two',

So what makes you happy?

For me,

it's

-good company

-good chat

-very rich chocolate

-a good story book

-watching cooking shows

-cooking

-going for a day trip

-surprise Birthday parties

-Christmas carols and Christmas celebration

-a car ride

-looking at scenic views

-viewing pictures of good memories

-getting encouragement, sweet messages

-jokes (except the lame ones)

-supper with friends although it is past midnight

-gifts (unexpected ones..including small ones)

-playing FB games ?

-just spending time alone and in serenity. ;)

Well, I guess if we count our blessings, we would spend less time complaining and dwelling in self-pity. Go, list the things that make you happy and soon, you will have a different, fresher perspective of life. :) You'll never know how the simplest thing in life can put a smile on your face.

F-R-I-E-N-D-S

What do friends mean to you?

When I was little girl, a friend means someone who would share their crayons, barbie dolls and toys with me. Friends are people who enjoy spending their play time with me and invite me for their Birthday Parties.

As I grow, the definition of friends became more complex. Friends are common but good friends are rare. We can have more than 500 friends on Facebook but we can only maintain 5 close friendships, in actual. And although you have five close friends, it doesn't mean that you are comfortable to share your private thoughts with them. I just don't know why. Maybe, if I disclose my own side of story, I'm afraid the wrong words would come out. Or, is it that I'm afraid that people would judge me, inwardly. Probably, there wasn't enough trust to hold on to in the first place.

My senior reminded me, one of the reasons why people are looking for counselors to talk about their problems is because they do not see anyone in their lives to give them the unconditional positive regard from their social support. They might have experienced so many criticisms from their closest friends that they withdrew from their social support and opt to seek professional help in the end.

Well, it gave me some food for thought. It is not about giving advice to someone who needs comfort. Rather, it is our willingness to be there for them when they need a listening ear. More often than not, if I'm not careful, my mind formulates advices and 'what to say next' even before the person finishes his/her sentences. Active listening actually takes a large amount of patience. And this is one of the skills that I need to improve.

Goodbye .....

When I was told about my cousin's death, I was not sure how to respond to it at first. I was quite confused because everything has happened so quickly for the past few days. And there's not much space to get a breather. After I heard the news, I tried to recall the last moments and the conversations I had with my cousin. Because he is 20 plus older than I am, I know him my whole life. When I was younger, he gave me an odd nickname, pulled my ears occasionally and told ghost stories to scare the wits out of me. He gradually treated me a little nicer later on. But, behind his 'playful' character, he was a man of responsibility and a person who cares very much for his own family. He was a generous person, who treated us good Ipoh food and scrumptious Chinese course dinners every Chinese New year. :)

It is a devastating news to know that he passed away in his early 40's. It seems so early, too soon.

The doctor said it was liver failure because he showed signs of jaundice and weight lost. etc.

Whatever the reason might be, I am once reminded of how fragile our lives can be. We might be healthy in the morning and by the evening, death may be knocking at our doors. Which makes me wonder if I need to re-examine my own priorities and values in life. Chasing our dreams like getting a job or owning our dream home is probably something that we would like to have one day. But, I am more worried that in the midst of busyness, self-centered ambitions and uncontrolled greed, the heart might grow cold. For when I leave this earth, no one would really bother to know or ask what I have achieved, what my academic qualifications are, what kind of job I have etc. but they will remember what I have done for them, whether I have showed care and love genuinely. From today onwards, my daily question would be "What am I doing today...so that I can make a difference in the lives of others?" So, when the right time comes for me to leave this earth, I am sure that I have touched one or two lives and lived life to the fullest. ;) In the end, it is people that matters. As for now, I live with a grieving heart.

Writing bout Grief. (taken from another unknown writer)

Smile and the world smiles with you. Cry and you cry alone.

I think grief is a very private emotion. Unlike most other basic human emotions which find comfort in expression. Like joy. Or happiness. Or good cheer. Which you can share. Spread around like some magical shimmering fairy light. Or say anger. And hatred. You let it out. Express your self and feel relieved. And then there is love. Which always needs to be expressed and shared for it to grow and bear fruit.

But grief is in a different league altogether. Because it cannot be shared. Or expressed. Or understood by anyone else. And you live it everyday. Through broken dreams and faltering faith. Through unshed tears and dying hope. And yet, I don't want your pity. Or words of comfort saying it will be alright. Which is why I want to be left alone in my grief.

Tread softly because you tread upon my dreams.

Life's Brief Candle

Life is brief and fragile.

Who on earth can live more than 100 years? How fleeting life is.

I can never know when my last day on earth would be.

Or tell when a person will pass away.

Life, death, eternity.

The only thing that separates life and death is a comma.

The only thing that separates death and eternity is a comma.

A punctuation mark that indicates to the reader to pause briefly..just a short while and then, move on.

It isn't a full stop that separates these three.

And because it is only a breather between life and death,

Life is undeniably seen to be short and close to death.

And our bodies are just the shells of us which we would have to leave behind one day.

One day, we are healthy,

and by the next day, we might turn into white ashes and our family grieves.

If life is this short, then, we ought to be grateful for every new day and live life to the fullest.

Harvesting the Journal

It has been a very busy, roller-coaster week for me. So, I decided to take a break today just to get my perspective right again, relax and enjoy doing the things that I love most. Today, I had spent about 10 minutes looking through one of my journals. As I read it page by page, I couldn't help but to thank God for His kindness and faithfulness. Four years ago, I was anxious and worried about how the future would turn up to be. I'm reminded that today is the future of the past. And I'm still under His great care. Praise God. Reading my journal reminded me that God answers my prayers and my questions of life, spirituality, marriage, relationships, friendships, studies. He works in ways that I cannot see with my own physical eyes. I had many doubts and yet, God patiently addressed them, one by one, so that I could grow in maturity! When I read my journal chronologically, I see that God is unfolding His plans which are bigger and way better than what I've expected and hoped for. You know, it's so easy to forget that He is with us when we are going through a hard time. And I find it so refreshing to give a "pause" to the busyness of life and read my journals that remind me of God's fingerprints in my life. All this while, God has been holding my hand and leading me. Today, I note that God is a creative God. He answers prayers in many ways. And I can count on Him.