When I was little girl, a friend means someone who would share their crayons, barbie dolls and toys with me. Friends are people who enjoy spending their play time with me and invite me for their Birthday Parties.
As I grow, the definition of friends became more complex. Friends are common but good friends are rare. We can have more than 500 friends on Facebook but we can only maintain 5 close friendships, in actual. And although you have five close friends, it doesn't mean that you are comfortable to share your private thoughts with them. I just don't know why. Maybe, if I disclose my own side of story, I'm afraid the wrong words would come out. Or, is it that I'm afraid that people would judge me, inwardly. Probably, there wasn't enough trust to hold on to in the first place.
My senior reminded me, one of the reasons why people are looking for counselors to talk about their problems is because they do not see anyone in their lives to give them the unconditional positive regard from their social support. They might have experienced so many criticisms from their closest friends that they withdrew from their social support and opt to seek professional help in the end.
Well, it gave me some food for thought. It is not about giving advice to someone who needs comfort. Rather, it is our willingness to be there for them when they need a listening ear. More often than not, if I'm not careful, my mind formulates advices and 'what to say next' even before the person finishes his/her sentences. Active listening actually takes a large amount of patience. And this is one of the skills that I need to improve.
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