Little Memories With Aunty.

 These are little moments I shared with Aunty when she was at KL for treatment. It may be short but it is worth the cherish.

#1: I knew you were tired because you had to stay in the hospital from morning till evening while the doctors got you treated. When I heard mum’s car engine, I opened the door for you. You stood there at the door with a smile and greeted me, “Happy Birthday”. Oh yeah, it’s my Birthday. It was sweet of you to remember it! :) The day before my actual Birthday, we were seated at Delicious Restaurant. I wanted Western food. You suggested that we should go to the Japanese Restaurant next door. I obliged. Yeah, I guess we can go there and come back here for dessert, I said softly, unconvinced. So, we stood up, left our tables, told the waitress that we would be back for desserts and walked over to the Japanese Restaurant. As a Birthday girl, I had the privilege to order what I liked. The food came and there’s no doubt that it was the best Jap food in town. You told me you wanted to celebrate my Birthday for many years to come. We chorused, “Yes”. We all want you to get well soonl and be healthy. 

#2: You said your t-shirt collar was too big and you could not find a suitable broach to close the opening. Mum looked through her dressing table and found a few broach but you said they were too big for your liking. We went to Jusco but they were too expensive. Few days passed and you still couldn’t find the broach you wanted.While I was walking along the streets of a night market not too far from home, I stopped at a stall to look if I could get you anything. I picked a small broach which was shaped into a leaf with diamond stuts on it. Hmm, maybe you would like this, I thought. I paid for it and I carried it home safely with me. I went to your room and saw you were lying down with the lights on. I wasn’t sure if you were asleep or you were closing your eyes resting. I walked towards you and tapped gently on your knee. You jolted. I said, I bought a broach for you. You looked at it and said you liked it. I was happy. :) The windows were closed. The room was stuffy. I switched on the air-con, wished you good night and switched off the lights so you could rest. You wore the broach with the t-shirt the next few days. 

#3: “Eh, we play mah jong tonight, ok”, I said. I am not a good player. I only know the simple rules. The simplest version which I played with my friends does not include counting ‘points’ (a.k.a. the no-gambling-version). As long as you have a good set of cards, you show your cards to other players and you are the winner. You agreed. I knew you liked Mah Jong because you often played it with your friends in Ipoh. I reached for my Mah Jong set from the shelf and carefully laid the mini tiles on the coffee table. You said they were small. Yes, small and cute. You won three times, effortlessly. :D I cannot remember the details of the game but I remember we had a good time laughing and taking turns to win. We enjoyed each other’s company. :D

#4: It was time for dinner. We decided to eat out.  I asked, “You wanna hold my hand?” You reached for my hand and you jokingly said, “We look like dating couple hor?” I smiled. You rested your arm on me. I touched your dry skin. Your skin was so thin that they looked as though they can be easily bruised. You were physically weak but I knew that you had a strong mind and spirit to fight the disease. You had a very strong willpower to withstand the side effects of your medication and you seldom complained about your physical pain.

#5: Other little memories..

My family planned to visit you in Ipoh next week. We talked about the food that we could eat during our visit-dim sum, chee cheong fun, tau fu fa, kai si hor fun and many more. You said, “You come down lah. I take you to eat lah.” The time did not come. Your body continued to deteriorate and the Lord decided to take you home last week on 28th July 2010-10.16 a.m at ICU. Our hearts grieve because we miss your presence.  

You are at Home with the Lord with no pain and no tears. You’ve done well. You fought well. We will meet again on heaven shores. As for the little memories, I thank God for the times I had with you. I will keep it safe. 

Steven Curtis Chapman

With Hope

This is not at all 

How we thought it was suppose to be

We hadso many plans for you

We has so many dreams

But now you’ve gone away

ANd left us with the memories of your smile

And nothing we can say

And nothing we can do

Can Take away the pain

The pain of losing you

And we will cry with hope

We can say good-bye with hope

‘Cause we know our good-bye is not the end

And we will grieve with hope

‘Cause we believe with hope

There’s a place where we’ll see your face again

We’ll see your face again

And never have I known

Anything so hard to understand

And never have I questioned more

The wisdom of God’s plan

But through the cloud of tears

I see the Father smile and say ’ well done.’

And I imagine you

Where you wanted most to be

Seeing all your dreams come true

‘Cause now your home

And now your free

Chorus

We have this hope as an anchor

‘Cause we believe that everything

God promises us is true

Chorus

We wait with hope

And we ache with hope

We hold on with hope

We let go with hope 

During these moments, I asked the Lord, “Why, Why would you allow this to happen?”, “Why have you taken 3 of my relatives, a friend, a good father of my best friend in just over two years? Have you not know that I have been crying myself to sleep and waking up at 5 a.m., with tears still streaming down my cheeks? Have you not know that I was in pain? Have you not know that I have been fighting against my strong emotions? Didn’t you know that I have my own limits? Didn’t you know that I have been in my lowest? Didn’t you know that I have problem concentrating? I keep misplacing my things. I forget what I told people or what they told me.” While I struggled with these thoughts, the Lord who is present in times of need, assured me that this is only temporary pain and He knows how it is like to lose someone whom we loved because He cried and mourned when Lazarus was dead. He knows how it was to be lonely and sad. Despite all these, He has promised to be with us-EMMANUEL, God with us. He will wipe every tear. He will listen to our cries. No matter how painful the journey is, let the Lord’s name be praised. If we can accept the good days from Him, we can definitely accept the bad days too. His timing is always perfect. He will take care of us. Then, my questions of “Why would you..” and “Didn’t you know” turned to “How, Lord, would you want me to respond?”. May God’s name be blessed during good times and bad times. I might not understand every single event that happened but I know He, with the greatest wisdom, would carry us through. 

“I lift up my eyes to the hills - where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.” Psalm 121:1-2

Family

Whatched Mr. Popper's penguin this afternoon. It was pretty entertaining. I like the penguins. In this movie of animated penguins and the hilarious actor, Jim Carey, the last few minutes of the film gave a very clear message. It emphasizes that the time you spend with your family is always priceless and that it should be the first priority over your job. Just a year ago, while I was going through a very difficult time, I realize that the most valuable people I have is my family. Yes, siblings can be annoying. We have to put up with the bad habits. We say hurtful things to one, intentionally or unintentionally. We know which button to press to make the other person irritated.. And so on. Despite all these, we cannot deny that your family are a bunch of people who would stand by your side when the going gets tough or when you want some support. They are the ones who accept you for who you are, celebrate your achievements and share your deepest sorrow. And for that, we would have to guard the time we set aside for our families-be it a simple dinner or a stroll at a park. Appreciate them because they are your social support.

Things That Are Beyond Our Understanding.

It's true. There are a few things in life that I cannot seem to understand. For countless times, I've asked myself, "Why me?", "Why should I deserve such a thing?"etc. I do not know why God put me in such situations, very difficult ones-some that I dare not want to face alone and never did I think it was coming my way. People always say, "Let go." Two words-easier said than done. 'Letting go' is to be aware of how you feel inside, acknowledge the emotions and then, let it go.

Some say, "Forgive". Forgive means to put down your ego. Forgive means humility-to admit that we have to give space for others' mistakes because we are not perfect ourselves. Forgive means that you choose to love the unlovely, the ones that made a scar inside you. Like every decision, forgiveness is a choice done deliberately. It requires action rather than a mere thought. And when you forgive, you'd be like a bird escaping from the cage of grudges, hurt, and pride.

We would find it difficult to forgive..unless we have experienced the forgiveness that God has given to us when we first chose to rebel against Him and ignore Him-even underestimating His glorious power. Forgiveness (with God's intervention) is made possible.

Fully forgiving, letting go of the past, erasing memories that repeatedly play in the mind and moving on. I never knew the process could be long....

Goodbye .....

When I was told about my cousin's death, I was not sure how to respond to it at first. I was quite confused because everything has happened so quickly for the past few days. And there's not much space to get a breather. After I heard the news, I tried to recall the last moments and the conversations I had with my cousin. Because he is 20 plus older than I am, I know him my whole life. When I was younger, he gave me an odd nickname, pulled my ears occasionally and told ghost stories to scare the wits out of me. He gradually treated me a little nicer later on. But, behind his 'playful' character, he was a man of responsibility and a person who cares very much for his own family. He was a generous person, who treated us good Ipoh food and scrumptious Chinese course dinners every Chinese New year. :)

It is a devastating news to know that he passed away in his early 40's. It seems so early, too soon.

The doctor said it was liver failure because he showed signs of jaundice and weight lost. etc.

Whatever the reason might be, I am once reminded of how fragile our lives can be. We might be healthy in the morning and by the evening, death may be knocking at our doors. Which makes me wonder if I need to re-examine my own priorities and values in life. Chasing our dreams like getting a job or owning our dream home is probably something that we would like to have one day. But, I am more worried that in the midst of busyness, self-centered ambitions and uncontrolled greed, the heart might grow cold. For when I leave this earth, no one would really bother to know or ask what I have achieved, what my academic qualifications are, what kind of job I have etc. but they will remember what I have done for them, whether I have showed care and love genuinely. From today onwards, my daily question would be "What am I doing today...so that I can make a difference in the lives of others?" So, when the right time comes for me to leave this earth, I am sure that I have touched one or two lives and lived life to the fullest. ;) In the end, it is people that matters. As for now, I live with a grieving heart.

Life's Brief Candle

Life is brief and fragile.

Who on earth can live more than 100 years? How fleeting life is.

I can never know when my last day on earth would be.

Or tell when a person will pass away.

Life, death, eternity.

The only thing that separates life and death is a comma.

The only thing that separates death and eternity is a comma.

A punctuation mark that indicates to the reader to pause briefly..just a short while and then, move on.

It isn't a full stop that separates these three.

And because it is only a breather between life and death,

Life is undeniably seen to be short and close to death.

And our bodies are just the shells of us which we would have to leave behind one day.

One day, we are healthy,

and by the next day, we might turn into white ashes and our family grieves.

If life is this short, then, we ought to be grateful for every new day and live life to the fullest.

Harvesting the Journal

It has been a very busy, roller-coaster week for me. So, I decided to take a break today just to get my perspective right again, relax and enjoy doing the things that I love most. Today, I had spent about 10 minutes looking through one of my journals. As I read it page by page, I couldn't help but to thank God for His kindness and faithfulness. Four years ago, I was anxious and worried about how the future would turn up to be. I'm reminded that today is the future of the past. And I'm still under His great care. Praise God. Reading my journal reminded me that God answers my prayers and my questions of life, spirituality, marriage, relationships, friendships, studies. He works in ways that I cannot see with my own physical eyes. I had many doubts and yet, God patiently addressed them, one by one, so that I could grow in maturity! When I read my journal chronologically, I see that God is unfolding His plans which are bigger and way better than what I've expected and hoped for. You know, it's so easy to forget that He is with us when we are going through a hard time. And I find it so refreshing to give a "pause" to the busyness of life and read my journals that remind me of God's fingerprints in my life. All this while, God has been holding my hand and leading me. Today, I note that God is a creative God. He answers prayers in many ways. And I can count on Him.

Are we driven by fear?

I was sitting at my study desk a minute ago and contemplated on what has happened for the past few weeks. First, I had to get used to 'being physically away from him'. Honestly, it wasn't easy saying goodbye. Second, I had to write my proposal thesis, which is another challenge.

As I was writing my thoughts down in my journal, I noticed a certain pattern emerging. At every crossroads of my life, fear seems to be the top no. 1. E.g. I study hard because I fear that I can't get a scholarship or the minimum results to get myself into a Master's program. I spend hours and hours on my assignment because I fear I won't meet my own 'expectations'. The bottom line is I'm driven by fear.

How many times have you told yourself this?

"I avoid getting into a close relationship because I fear that I end up betrayed by another person like what happened to me in the past."

"I want to be a top student because I fear that my reputation of being 'the' smart student will suffer."

"I don't want to speak in public because I fear that I would be a laughing stock to others."

Our lives are driven by fear, although most of you reading this might deny the fact. At least, I realize mine is and I'm going to do something about it.

It is fear that paralyzes me. It is fear that makes me grip around the steering wheel and let God sit at the passenger's seat instead of making him the driver. It is fear that reflects my lack of faith in God. Fear is a telltale sign that I haven't been exercising my dependence on Him. It acts like chains that clam me down and makes aspirations dissipate like how rain drop falls on the hot surface and vaporize in seconds.

I've been brought up with this popular verse, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take". Sang the song a million times but never took time to 'savor' it. It is today that God 'takes a cup of cold water and splash it on my face'. Time to wake up..and let go..to have a lil more faith..to break free from my own fears. I was thinking, "Does God even care about my assignment?" And a verse popped into mind, reminding me that God even knows how many hair we have on our heads. He knows us inside out and He cares about every lil thing that happens in our lives.

In short, I feel I have still so much to learn in my walk with God. I've made so many errors and am so imperfect. It is about time to let go and let God lead the way. In the end, I've no entire control in the events of my life. Yes, I do my part but I have to leave the rest to God cos' I can be assured that I'm in the good hands of the Lord with His promises. =)

The Surprise And Its Challenges (Edited)

The interest to visit Singapore was born from a small conversation. From this, I learned that Jeremy did not visit Singapore for over 15 years (!) and Evon has never been to S'pore. So, the four of us, Jeremy, Matt, Evon and I planned to visit Singapore on the 12-15th May 2010 during our term break. Deal! Two months before the pre-planning of this Singapore trip, Elisha told me he will be landing on the 14th May 2010 at Changi Airport, Singapore. I thought, hey, why not kill two birds with one stone? We will go to Singapore on the 12-14th May and, on the 15th May, we'd hop on to the causeway link bus to Johor (where he and his family live) and give him a surprise.

Challenge No.1: Parents and Accommodation>>>

Having a rough idea was a good start. The first challenge was to get parental approval to go on holiday with this wild bunch of friends (just kidding). I guess my parents were more concern about safety and accommodation for the entire trip. To cut the long story short, I gave my sweetest eyes (like the pussy cat in Shrek 1) to my dad and he gave me the green light. Yey! It took me two days or so to get a good accommodation in Singapore for a reasonable price. In the end, we booked a two-bunk beds room at Footprints Backpackers Hostel for $27 per bed per night with facilities: Wi-Fi, free internet access, hot showers, air-conditioned rooms and free breakfast. Haha.. And, of course, the counter guy *inside joke*.

Challenge No. 2: The Surprise Plan>>>
The planning took place one month before today. Step. 1: SMS the sister and get the dad's email. Step 2: E-mail his dad, the pastor of Wesley Methodist Church. His dad was very kind to offer transportation from CIQ (Johor check-point) to his house despite his busyness at church during the weekends. Pastors are usually very busy on Saturdays. I also contacted both of his sisters, Susanna and Sophia. Sophia became my spy and she told me what Elisha was doing while I was on my way to his house. ;) The whole family knew about it. And I'm thankful for them.

Challenge No. 3: To Keep the Surprise A Secret>>>
Keeping the surprise a secret was not at all straight forward. For some reason, I learned that quite a number of aunties and uncles from church knew about our Singapore trip. Once the parents knew, the news spread like fire. Few of my friends accidentally posted comments on Facebook, indicating that I am going to Singapore! Twice, I had to send a message and ask politely if they can delete the comment immediately. Why? Cos' I didn't tell Elisha about this trip. On my side, I admit I almost let the cat out of the hat twice. But, I managed to cover it up and Elisha did not questioned me further. So, fhew, I was saved. Then, Matthew posted a group picture of us in S'pore..and I was like, "No...you have to delete it." Hon Yau even sent a message to sort of 'warn' us. Thankfully, on that day, Elisha was flying on air so he won't be able to log on Facebook to check my profile. On the 14th May, he landed at Changi Airport at 2 a.m. Haih.. so near yet so far. You see, I was staying at Little India and I can actually travel to the Airport via the very efficient SMRT. The bad news is my phone does not have roaming services, so, he wasn't able to get me the whole day of Friday. I felt guilty because I knew he will be calling me a million times until he reach me.


Challenge No. 4: Surviving the MAZE in CIQ and Planning the Surprise>>>
CIQ, Johor Check-Point was really huge. Uncle told me not to cross the overhead bridge. Little did I know that there were actually three overhead bridges and what he meant was the last bridge, which takes us to City Hall. It took us quite some time to locate his car. Finally, we met. I crossed my fingers and wished that Elisha will remain in his room when I come over. Still, he was unaware of this plan. So, we went to the house, silently stepped on the wooden staircase, knocked on his door for three times. He opened the door and we shouted, "SURPRISE!". Hehe. He said, "What's going on here?"

It was extremely good to see him after 1.5 years of being physically apart. It's really hard to pen down how I felt at that moment when I saw him. To me, it was like a dream came true. "Wow, I can actually see him face-to-face, not on SKYPE anymore!" I can only testify that it is by God's grace that we can stay together despite the distance and different time zone. It was never easy. Like all relationships, this was tested. I believe that there are two things that kept us going: prayers and the effort to sustain this relationship. No 1: We prayed that God will strengthen our relationship.No. 2: We take the effort to spend time with one another on the phone or SKYPE. We speak our thoughts out and make the effort to appreciate each other's differences.

Credits:

Well, this surprise would never happen without the help of the key people.
Thanks dad and mum for sponsoring my Singapore trip.
Thanks Pastor Joshua Hong, Sophia and Susanna for keeping in touch with me.
Thanks to my bunch of friends, Matt, Evon and Jeremy who spare their time at J.B with me. I hope you enjoyed yourself and loved the Chocolate Ice-Kacang.
Thanks to those who prayed for our relationship.

Thanks Elisha for travelling 23 hours on plane to come home and see me! I love you very much.
You're so sweet. ;)

Now, I look forward to spend time with you.

Please pray for us!

LDS......the joy and pain.

Being in a long-distance relationship has never been easy.

party.. because I get very negative comments from people. I know that they do not mean to be harsh. They're just trying their best to bring 'reality' to me. They say:

"Long-distance relationship won't work."

"Don't say yes first. Got so many boys out there. Afterwards, you find a better one, how?"

..S.L thinking inside, there will be always boys who are better with the ones that we are with. That's why adultery happens. That's why when we think we found a 'better' one, without strong commitment, a relationship or a marriage tears apart. Anyway, there will be always boys who are worse than him. I say, there's only one unique person I won't want to let go.

"Out of sight, out of mind".

"Boyfriends are suppose to be there with their girlfriends..they're suppose to take care of them."

"So, what's next lah? Are you two gonna be like apart forever?" *sarcastic*

Sometimes, I keep quiet. I find that there's no point for me to argue with them because they're

so hard up on their opinions. Oh well, it's not like I ask for their opinion in the first place.

Well..I could have given up in this relationship.

But, I won't and I can't...

because I believe there is HOPE

.... LOVE

..................and FAITH in God who keeps us both together.

And it has been three years of joy and lil' misunderstanding along the way. :)

In the end of the day, what matters is God's purpose for us.

I'm not too keen to know what a few people say. They don't want to understand the situation.

They're just busy bodies.

However, I'm ever grateful for good friends, church friends and CG people who prayed for this relationship, and that we will grow together. It's truly a divine intervention that we're still together. I can't even imagine being this far apart for so long while I was in college. :)

Thanks for all your prayers and wonderful support. I cherish it alot.

A Note of Gratitude

Hi all,

So sorry for my absence. Been really busy with the assignments. I've just handed-in four assignments yesterday. It was very tiring for my group mates and myself. For the past few weeks, we've been spending long hours on the computer to find online journals and write research papers. It is a very challenging task. I find myself editing all the group assignments, making sure its parts are coherent with one another and there's minimal grammatical errors etc. As time goes by, the work load increases and lecturers are having higher expectations since we're at Year 2. They all expect quality work from us.

Okay. Let's push the academic to one side. Writing about it makes me feel saturated. Let's talk about something else k?

Like my 22nd B'day

I'm really thankful for those who made my 22nd B'day memorable and special. Thanks mum and dad for bringing me out to my favourite Japanese Buffet at Daidamon, Great Eastern Mall. Thank you, my bestie, Becky who sent more miniature stuffs all the way from Melbourne. Hey, it's been 15 years of good friendship! Thank you, Elisha for calling me and wishing me twice. We will celebrate our Birthdays together when you arrive home this coming May ya! Thanks to four cheeky friends: Matt, Evon, Ruth and Jeremy for the surprise mini party. I will remember it for a very long time. Thanks for the Ramli burger which became my only 22nd Birthday cake. Not kidding. :) Thanks to all who contributed to my Selangor Pewter Limited Edition Pumpkin Kettle and Nicholas Spark's Novel. Love them very much. A big thanks to my course mates, Jenny, Chin Looi, Nicole and Jennifer for the Italian Dinner at Midvalley and paying the bills. Thanks to all who posted Birthday wishes on my Facebook Wall and wrote a card to me.

I thank God for such great and supporting friends like you. Birthday will never be that special without each of you. I look forward for spending more time with you and allowing our friendships to grow and blossom.

God bless.

And I am counting down to my holidays.

Elisha's coming home really soon. Haven't seen him in two years! :P Feeling quite nervous to see him too. It will be so different once again.

Speaking the Language of Love (The Five Love Language by Gary Chapman)

"March is a significant month, isn't it?"

It is now a trend to list your Birthday wishes so that people will know what to get you for your Birthday and make your day. It's not a bad idea by the way because your giver knows exactly what you want and you'd be happy to get what you receive. It saves quite a lot of time thinking of what to buy.

Years ago, I read a book of the Five Love Language for both Marriage and Bringing Up Kids. After completing a questionnaire, I was quite sure that my three primary love languages are quality time, words of affirmation and receiving gifts.

So....

...if you're thinking of making Siaw Lin happy on her Birthday this coming 15th March, here's a simple 1-2-3 manual! The biggest hint I can give is to speak my love language. Don't worry. Nothing gibberish. :)

Number #1: Quality Time

"A central aspect of quality time is togetherness. I do not mean proximity.. togetherness has to do with focused attention."

My first primary love language is quality time. When someone enjoys spending time with me, I feel loved and cherished. Quality time does not mean having to sit at the table and stare at each other awkwardly. It means spending time together and doing activities we both enjoy. It can be simple as taking me to:

-a party with closed friends

-a good dinner

-shopping at Ikea...

-CupBon at Wangsa Walk

-taking long walks around Melawati

-playing boardgames

-pillow talks (applied strictly for girls. haha.)

-watch a movie at GSC

While you're at it, pay attention to what I say and give me undivided attention. Share about your thoughts, feelings or experiences in a friendly or serious manner, whatever suits your style. Just as you lend me your listening ear, I will do the same for you. I love exchanging opinions, thoughts, ideas, (lame jokes), and intellectual questions with family and friends. Tell me how your day went, bad or good. Ask me questions to show your genuine desire that you truly want to care and understand me. The time I spent with my family and friends are deeply embedded in my memory.

Number #2: Words of Affirmation

My second primary love language is words of affirmation. On my study desk, there is a glass filled with Birthday notes from my friends from Msia, Australia and United States. They were all compiled by a bunch of friends who threw a surprise party on my 21st B'day. Most notes are touching. Some were lame (ahem). But, whatever, it is, this glass is like my little sunshine. When I feel sad or discouraged, I'd randomly pick one to read. And you'll never know how much a positive encouragement can cheer me up or make me feel a little better. Your birthday notes remind me of the beautiful friendships we both share and value. It is the same for the letters and cards I received over the years. I've learned to cherish snail mails even more because of their plunging popularity rate ever since Facebook and e-cards have taken over our world.

Overall, it is words of encouragement that keeps me positive and motivated. Verbal compliments affirm that I am capable to reach a goal and they build my self-esteem. It offers me the security to try new things and the courage to persevere when the going gets tough.

So...What can you do on my Birthday?

-Send me a snail mail

-Send me a Birthday card (preferably hand-made) or a letter

-Send an e-card, post something on my Facebook wall or whack me with a virtual pillow

-Send me a SMS with lots of smiley

-A phone call (distant or near)-handphone, Skype (which you can access through my blog too), house line

-Give verbal compliments and be honest about it!

-Tell me how much our friendship means to you

-Reveal to me how much I've impacted your life, whether in the smallest ways

-Tell me how much you cherish the time you spent with me

Number #3: Receiving Gifts

Gifts itself is a symbol of the giver's thought. It doesn't matter if you've made the gift your ownself because gifts need not be always expensive.It is the thought that counts. Gifts are something that I can hold and say to myself, "This giver thought of me while he or she bought this." I cherish the gifts I received from my friends, although some may seem insignificant to others like M&M and Kit Kat wrappers. To me, it is the intention that matters. Gifts hold a significant meaning if it was given with a sincere and genuine heart.

p/s: Posting my Birthday list is most unlikely. :) If you do not know what I want for my Birthday yet, please refer to number #1 and #2 and do as accordingly. Simplest way to know what I like/need is to talk to me personally! Find out what I like or dislike! If you've known me well, you will know (that I am very picky when it comes to cakes so you might want to leave that out ya!)